[something in her face tightens, and she hates herself for suddenly wanting her Soul Gem back almost as much as she already does for deciding to accept its absence in the first place; she selfishly wanted to live life as a normal girl again, if just for a little while, and now her kinder (if more self-destructive) impulses want to take that chance away. Mami wants to help others- and help herself -but she can only choose one.]

...at least you're not alone. You have someone to care about and want to protect in the first place. Most who fight- they don't even have that. They help strangers who will forget them by tomorrow.